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CHAPTER LXVIII
JOHN IS JOHN NO LONGER
It would be hard for me to tell the state of mind in
which I lived for a long time after this. I put away
from me all torment, and the thought of future cares,
and the sight of difficulty; and to myself appeared,
which means that I became the luckiest of lucky
fellows, since the world itself began. I thought not
of the harvest even, nor of the men who would get their
wages without having earned them, nor of my mother's
anxiety and worry about John Fry's great fatness (which
was growing upon him), and how she would cry fifty
times in a day, 'Ah, if our John would only come home,
how different everything would look!'
Although there were no soldiers now quartered at
Plover's Barrows, all being busied in harassing the
country, and hanging the people where the rebellion had
thriven most, my mother, having received from me a
message containing my place of abode, contrived to send
me, by the pack-horses, as fine a maund as need be of
provisions, and money, and other comforts. Therein I
found addressed to Colonel Jeremiah Stickles, in
Lizzie's best handwriting, half a side of the dried
deer's flesh, in which he rejoiced so greatly. Also,
for Lorna, a fine green goose, with a little salt
towards the tail, and new-laid eggs inside it, as well
as a bottle of brandied cherries, and seven, or it may
have been eight pounds of fresh homemade butter.
Moreover, to myself there was a letter full of good
advice, excellently well expressed, and would have been
of the greatest value, if I had cared to read it. But
I read all about the farm affairs, and the man whe had
offered himself to our Betty for the five pounds in her
stocking; as well as the antics of Sally Snowe, and how
she had almost thrown herself at Parson Bowden's head
(old enough to be her grandfather), because on the
Sunday after the hanging of a Countisbury man, he had
preached a beautiful sermon about Christian love; which
Lizzie, with her sharp eyes, found to be the work of
good Bishop Ken. Also I read that the Doones were
quiet; the parishes round about having united to feed
them well through the harvest time, so that after the
day's hard work, the farmers might go to bed at night.
And this plan had been found to answer well, and to
save much trouble on both sides, so that everybody
wondered it had not been done before. But Lizzie
thought that the Doones could hardly be expected much
longer to put up with it, and probably would not have
done so now, but for a little adversity; to wit, that
the famous Colonel Kirke had, in the most outrageous
manner, hanged no less than six of them, who were
captured among the rebels; for he said that men of
their rank and breeding, and above all of their
religion, should have known better than to join
plough-boys, and carters, and pickaxemen, against our
Lord the King, and his Holiness the Pope. This hanging
of so many Doones caused some indignation among people
who were used to them; and it seemed for a while to
check the rest from any spirit of enterprise.
Moreover, I found from this same letter (which was
pinned upon the knuckle of a leg of mutton, for fear of
being lost in straw) that good Tom Faggus was at home
again, and nearly cured of his dreadful wound; but
intended to go to war no more, only to mind his family.
And it grieved him more than anything he ever could
have imagined, that his duty to his family, and the
strong power of his conscience, so totally forbade him
to come up and see after me. For now his design was to
lead a new life, and be in charity with all men. Many
better men than he had been hanged, he saw no cause to
doubt; but by the grace of God he hoped himself to
cheat the gallows.
There was no further news of moment in this very clever
letter, except that the price of horses' shoes was gone
up again, though already twopence-farthing each; and
that Betty had broken her lover's head with the
stocking full of money; and then in the corner it was
written that the distinguished man of war, and
worshipful scholar, Master Bloxham, was now promoted to
take the tolls, and catch all the rebels around our
part.
Lorna was greatly pleased with the goose, and the
butter, and the brandied cherries; and the Earl Brandir
himself declared that he never tasted better than those
last, and would beg the young man from the country to
procure him instructions for making them. This
nobleman, being as deaf as a post, and of a very solid
mind, could never be brought to understand the nature
of my thoughts towards Lorna. He looked upon me as an
excellent youth, who had rescued the maiden from the
Doones, whom he cordially detested; and learning that I
had thrown two of them out of window (as the story was
told him), he patted me on the back, and declared that
his doors would ever be open to me, and that I could
not come too often.
I thought this very kind of his lordship, especially as
it enabled me to see my darling Lorna, not indeed as
often as I wished, but at any rate very frequently, and
as many times as modesty (ever my leading principle)
would in common conscience approve of. And I made up
my mind that if ever I could help Earl Brandir, it
would be--as we say, when with brandy and water--the
'proudest moment of my life,' when I could fulfil the
pledge.
And I soon was able to help Lord Brandir, as I think,
in two different ways; first of all as regarded his
mind, and then as concerned his body: and the latter
perhaps was the greatest service, at his time of life.
But not to be too nice about that; let me tell how
these things were.
Lorna said to me one day, being in a state of
excitement--whereto she was over prone, when reft of my
slowness to steady her,--
'I will tell him, John; I must tell him, John. It is
mean of me to conceal it.'
I thought that she meant all about our love, which we
had endeavoured thrice to drill into his fine old ears;
but could not make him comprehend, without risk of
bringing the house down: and so I said, 'By all means;
darling; have another try at it.'
Lorna, however, looked at me--for her eyes told more
than tongue--as much as to say, 'Well, you are a
stupid. We agreed to let that subject rest.' And then
she saw that I was vexed at my own want of quickness;
and so she spoke very kindly,--
'I meant about his poor son, dearest; the son of his
old age almost; whose loss threw him into that dreadful
cold--for he went, without hat, to look for him--which
ended in his losing the use of his dear old ears. I
believe if we could only get him to Plover's Barrows
for a month, he would be able to hear again. And look
at his age! he is not much over seventy, John, you
know; and I hope that you will be able to hear me, long
after you are seventy, John.'
'Well,' said I, 'God settles that. Or at any rate, He
leaves us time to think about those questions, when we
are over fifty. Now let me know what you want, Lorna.
The idea of my being seventy! But you would still be
beautiful.'
'To the one who loves me,' she answered, trying to make
wrinkles in her pure bright forehead: 'but if you will
have common sense, as you always will, John, whether I
wish it or otherwise--I want to know whether I am
bound, in honour, and in conscience, to tell my dear
and good old uncle what I know about his son?'
'First let me understand quite clearly,' said I, never
being in a hurry, except when passion moves me, 'what
his lordship thinks at present; and how far his mind is
urged with sorrow and anxiety.' This was not the first
time we had spoken of the matter.
'Why, you know, John, well enough,' she answered,
wondering at my coolness, 'that my poor uncle stlll
believes that his one beloved son will come to light
and live again. He has made all arrangements
accordingly: all his property is settled on that
supposition. He knows that young Alan always was what
he calls a "feckless ne'er-do-weel;" but he loves him
all the more for that. He cannot believe that he will
die, without his son coming back to him; and he always
has a bedroom ready, and a bottle of Alan's favourite
wine cool from out the cellar; he has made me work him
a pair of slippers from the size of a mouldy boot; and
if he hears of a new tobacco--much as he hates the
smell of it--he will go to the other end of London to
get some for Alan. Now you know how deaf he is; but if
any one say, "Alan," even in the place outside the
door, he will make his courteous bow to the very
highest visitor, and be out there in a moment, and
search the entire passage, and yet let no one know it.'
'It is a piteous thing,' I said; for Lorna's eyes were
full of tears.
'And he means me to marry him. It is the pet scheme of
his life. I am to grow more beautiful, and more
highly taught, and graceful; until it pleases Alan to
come back, and demand me. Can you understand this
matter, John? Or do you think my uncle mad?'
'Lorna, I should be mad myself, to call any other man
mad, for hoping.'
'Then will you tell me what to do? It makes me very
sorrowful. For I know that Alan Brandir lies below
the sod in Doone-valley.'
'And if you tell his father,' I answered softly, but
clearly, 'in a few weeks he will lie below the sod in
London; at least if there is any.'
'Perhaps you are right, John,' she replied: 'to lose
hope must be a dreadful thing, when one is turned of
seventy. Therefore I will never tell him.'
The other way in which I managed to help the good Earl
Brandir was of less true moment to him; but as he could
not know of the first, this was the one which moved
him. And it happened pretty much as follows--though I
hardly like to tell, because it advanced me to such a
height as I myself was giddy at; and which all my
friends resented greatly (save those of my own family),
and even now are sometimes bitter, in spite of all my
humility. Now this is a matter of history, because the
King was concerned in it; and being so strongly
misunderstood, (especially in my own neighbourhood, I
will overcome so far as I can) my diffidence in telling
it.
The good Earl Brandir was a man of the noblest charity.
True charity begins at home, and so did his; and was
afraid of losing the way, if it went abroad. So this
good nobleman kept his money in a handsome pewter box,
with his coat of arms upon it, and a double lid and
locks. Moreover, there was a heavy chain, fixed to a
staple in the wall, so that none might carry off the
pewter with the gold inside of it. Lorna told me the
box was full, for she had seen him go to it, and she
often thought that it would be nice for us to begin the
world with. I told her that she must not allow her
mind to dwell upon things of this sort; being wholly
against the last commandment set up in our church at
Oare.
Now one evening towards September, when the days were
drawing in, looking back at the house to see whether
Lorna were looking after me, I espied (by a little
glimpse, as it were) a pair of villainous fellows
(about whom there could be no mistake) watching from
the thicket-corner, some hundred yards or so behind the
good Earl's dwelling. 'There is mischief afoot,'
thought I to myself, being thoroughly conversant with
theft, from my knowledge of the Doones; 'how will be
the moon to-night, and when may we expect the watch?'
I found that neither moon nor watch could be looked for
until the morning; the moon, of course, before the
watch, and more likely to be punctual. Therefore I
resolved to wait, and see what those two villains did,
and save (if it were possible) the Earl of Brandir's
pewter box. But inasmuch as those bad men were almost
sure to have seen me leaving the house and looking
back, and striking out on the London road, I marched
along at a merry pace, until they could not discern me;
and then I fetched a compass round, and refreshed
myself at a certain inn, entitled The Cross-bones and
Buttons.
Here I remained until it was very nearly as dark as
pitch; and the house being full of footpads and
cutthroats, I thought it right to leave them. One or
two came after me, in the hope of designing a
stratagem; but I dropped them in the darkness; and
knowing all the neighbourhood well, I took up my
position, two hours before midnight, among the shrubs
at the eastern end of Lord Brandir's mansion. Hence,
although I might not see, I could scarcely fail to
hear, if any unlawful entrance either at back or front
were made.
From my own observation, I thought it likely that the
attack would he in the rear; and so indeed it came to
pass. For when all the lights were quenched, and all
the house was quiet, I heard a low and wily whistle
from a clump of trees close by; and then three figures
passed between me and a whitewashed wall, and came to a
window which opened into a part of the servants'
basement. This window was carefully raised by some one
inside the house; and after a little whispering, and
something which sounded like a kiss, all the three men
entered.
'Oh, you villains!' I said to myself, 'this is worse
than any Doone job; because there is treachery in it.'
But without waiting to consider the subject from a
moral point of view, I crept along the wall, and
entered very quietly after them; being rather uneasy
about my life, because I bore no fire-arms, and had
nothing more than my holly staff, for even a violent
combat.
To me this was matter of deep regret, as I followed
these vile men inward. Nevertheless I was resolved
that my Lorna should not be robbed again. Through us
(or at least through our Annie) she had lost that
brilliant necklace; which then was her only birthright:
therefore it behoved me doubly, to preserve the pewter
box; which must belong to her in the end, unless the
thieves got hold of it.
I went along very delicately (as a man who has learned
to wrestle can do, although he may weigh twenty stone),
following carefully the light, brought by the
traitorous maid, and shaking in her loose dishonest
hand. I saw her lead the men into a little place
called a pantry; and there she gave them cordials, and
I could hear them boasting.
Not to be too long over it--which they were much
inclined to be--I followed them from this
drinking-bout, by the aid of the light they bore, as
far as Earl Brandir's bedroom, which I knew, because
Lorna had shown it to me that I might admire the
tapestry. But I had said that no horse could ever be
shod as the horses were shod therein, unless he had the
foot of a frog, as well as a frog to his foot. And
Lorna had been vexed at this (as taste and high art
always are, at any small accurate knowledge), and so
she had brought me out again, before I had time to
admire things.
Now, keeping well away in the dark, yet nearer than was
necessary to my own dear Lorna's room, I saw these
fellows try the door of the good Earl Brandir, knowing
from the maid, of course, that his lordship could hear
nothing, except the name of Alan. They tried the lock,
and pushed at it, and even set their knees upright; but
a Scottish nobleman may be trusted to secure his door
at night. So they were forced to break it open; and
at this the guilty maid, or woman, ran away. These
three rogues--for rogues they were, and no charity may
deny it--burst into Earl Brandir's room, with a light,
and a crowbar, and fire-arms. I thought to myself that
this was hard upon an honest nobleman; and if further
mischief could be saved, I would try to save it.
When I came to the door of the room, being myself in
shadow, I beheld two bad men trying vainly to break
open the pewter box, and the third with a pistol-muzzle
laid to the night-cap of his lordship. With foul face
and yet fouler words, this man was demanding the key of
the box, which the other men could by no means open,
neither drag it from the chain.
'I tell you,' said this aged Earl, beginning to
understand at last what these rogues were up for; 'I
will give no key to you. It all belongs to my boy,
Alan. No one else shall have a farthing.'
'Then you may count your moments, lord. The key is in
your old cramped hand. One, two, and at three, I shoot
you.'
I saw that the old man was abroad; not with fear, but
with great wonder, and the regrets of deafness. And I
saw that rather would he be shot than let these men go
rob his son, buried now, or laid to bleach in the
tangles of the wood, three, or it might be four years
agone, but still alive to his father. Hereupon my
heart was moved; and I resolved to interfere. The
thief with the pistol began to count, as I crossed the
floor very quietly, while the old Earl fearfully gazed
at the muzzle, but clenched still tighter his wrinkled
hand. The villain, with hair all over his eyes, and
the great horse-pistol levelled, cried 'three,' and
pulled the trigger; but luckily, at that very moment, I
struck up the barrel with my staff, so that the shot
pierced the tester, and then with a spin and a thwack I
brought the good holly down upon the rascal's head, in
a manner which stretched him upon the floor.
Meanwhile the other two robbers had taken the alarm,
and rushed at me, one with a pistol and one with a
hanger; which forced me to be very lively. Fearing the
pistol most, I flung the heavy velvet curtain of the
bed across, that he might not see where to aim at me,
and then stooping very quickly I caught up the
senseless robber, and set him up for a shield and
target; whereupon he was shot immediately, without
having the pain of knowing it; and a happy thing it was
for him. Now the other two were at my mercy, being men
below the average strength; and no hanger, except in
most skilful hands, as well as firm and strong ones,
has any chance to a powerful man armed with a stout
cudgel, and thoroughly practised in single-stick.
So I took these two rogues, and bound them together;
and leaving them under charge of the butler (a worthy
and shrewd Scotchman), I myself went in search of the
constables, whom, after some few hours, I found;
neither were they so drunk but what they could take
roped men to prison. In the morning, these two men
were brought before the Justices of the Peace: and now
my wonderful luck appeared; for the merit of having
defeated, and caught them, would never have raised me
one step in the State, or in public consideration, if
they had only been common robbers, or even notorious
murderers. But when these fellows were recognised, by
some one in the court, as Protestant witnesses out of
employment, companions and understrappers to Oates, and
Bedloe, and Carstairs, and hand in glove with
Dangerfield, Turberville; and Dugdale--in a word, the
very men against whom His Majesty the King bore the
bitterest rancour, but whom he had hitherto failed to
catch--when this was laid before the public (with
emphasis and admiration), at least a dozen men came up,
whom I had never seen before, and prayed me to accept
their congratulations, and to be sure to remember them;
for all were of neglected merit, and required no more
than a piece of luck.
I answered them very modestly, and each according to
his worth, as stated by himself, who of course could
judge the best. The magistrate made me many
compliments, ten times more than I deserved, and took
good care to have them copied, that His Majesty might
see them. And ere the case was thoroughly heard, and
those poor fellows were committed, more than a score of
generous men had offered to lend me a hundred pounds,
wherewith to buy a new Court suit, when called before
His Majesty.
Now this may seem very strange to us who live in a
better and purer age--or say at least that we do
so--and yet who are we to condemn our fathers for
teaching us better manners, and at their own expense?
With these points any virtuous man is bound to deal
quite tenderly, making allowance for corruption, and
not being too sure of himself. And to tell the truth,
although I had seen so little of the world as yet, that
which astonished me in the matter, was not so much that
they paid me court, as that they found out so soon the
expediency of doing it.
In the course of that same afternoon I was sent for by
His Majesty. He had summoned first the good Earl
Brandir, and received the tale from him, not without
exaggeration, although my lord was a Scotchman. But
the chief thing His Majesty cared to know was that,
beyond all possible doubt, these were the very precious
fellows from perjury turned to robbery.
Being fully assured at last of this, His Majesty had
rubbed his hands, and ordered the boots of a stricter
pattern (which he himself had invented) to be brought
at once, that he might have them in the best possible
order. And he oiled them himself, and expressed his
fear that there was no man in London quite competent to
work them. Nevertheless he would try one or two,
rather than wait for his pleasure, till the torturer
came from Edinburgh.
The next thing be did was to send for me; and in great
alarm and flurry I put on my best clothes, and hired a
fashionable hairdresser, and drank half a gallon of
ale, because both my hands were shaking. Then forth I
set, with my holly staff, wishing myself well out of
it. I was shown at once, and before I desired it, into
His Majesty's presence, and there I stood most humbly,
and made the best bow I could think of.
As I could not advance any farther--for I saw that the
Queen was present, which frightened me tenfold--His
Majesty, in the most gracious manner, came down the
room to encourage me. And as I remained with my head
bent down, he told me to stand up, and look at him.
'I have seen thee before, young man, he said; 'thy form
is not one to be forgotten. Where was it? Thou art
most likely to know.'
'May it please Your Most Gracious Majesty the King,' I
answered, finding my voice in a manner which surprised
myself; 'it was in the Royal Chapel.'
Now I meant no harm whatever by this. I ought to have
said the 'Ante-chapel,' but I could not remember the
word, and feared to keep the King looking at me.
'I am well-pleased,' said His Majesty, with a smile
which almost made his dark and stubborn face look
pleasant, 'to find that our greatest subject, greatest
I mean in the bodily form, is also a good Catholic.
Thou needest not say otherwise. The time shall be, and
that right soon, when men shall be proud of the one
true faith.' Here he stopped, having gone rather far!
but the gleam of his heavy eyes was such that I durst
not contradict.
'This is that great Johann Reed,' said Her Majesty,
coming forward, because the King was in meditation;
'for whom I have so much heard, from the dear, dear
Lorna. Ah, she is not of this black countree, she is
of the breet Italie.'
I have tried to write it, as she said it: but it wants
a better scholar to express her mode of speech.
'Now, John Ridd,' said the King, recovering from his
thoughts about the true Church, and thinking that his
wife was not to take the lead upon me; 'thou hast done
great service to the realm, and to religion. It was
good to save Earl Brandir, a loyal and Catholic
nobleman; but it was great service to catch two of the
vilest bloodhounds ever laid on by heretics. And to
make them shoot one another: it was rare; it was rare,
my lad. Now ask us anything in reason; thou canst
carry any honours, on thy club, like Hercules. What is
thy chief ambition, lad?'
'Well,' said I, after thinking a little, and meaning to
make the most of it, for so the Queen's eyes conveyed
to me; 'my mother always used to think that having been
schooled at Tiverton, with thirty marks a year to pay,
I was worthy of a coat of arms. And that is what she
longs for.'
'A good lad! A very good lad,' said the King, and he
looked at the Queen, as if almost in joke; 'but what is
thy condition in life?'
'I am a freeholder,' I answered, in my confusion, 'ever
since the time of King Alfred. A Ridd was with him in
the isle of Athelney, and we hold our farm by gift from
him; or at least people say so. We have had three
very good harvests running, and might support a coat of
arms; but for myself I want it not.'
'Thou shalt have a coat, my lad,' said the King,
smiling at his own humour; 'but it must be a large one
to fit thee. And more than that shalt thou have, John
Ridd, being of such loyal breed, and having done such
service.'
And while I wondered what he meant, he called to some
of the people in waiting at the farther end of the
room, and they brought him a little sword, such as
Annie would skewer a turkey with. Then he signified
to me to kneel, which I did (after dusting the board,
for the sake of my best breeches), and then he gave me
a little tap very nicely upon my shoulder, before I
knew what he was up to; and said, 'Arise, Sir John
Ridd!'
This astonished and amazed me to such extent of loss of
mind, that when I got up I looked about, and thought
what the Snowes would think of it. And I said to the
King, without forms of speech,--
'Sir, I am very much obliged. But what be I to do with
it?'
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